Feelings
by EOlover2
Summary: He was gone... that was a fact. She? She felt fear, sadness, disappointment, anger, lost … destroyed. She felt her stomach fell at the moment she realized whose name it was in the screen… his COMPLETE AND ENGLISH CHECKED.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _Law & Order: Special Victims Unit_ and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf

**Author's Note: This is my first English fan fiction NOW IT IS WELL WRITTEN! please be nice and let me know if I should continue… : ) **

Chapter 1.

He was gone, that was a fact. She? She felt fear, sadness, disappointment, anger, lost … destroyed.

After the shooting, the days passed slowly with no answer to her desperate calls, to her million of messages, to her horrifying thoughts… fear.

Then, finally, after a while she received the new she was so afraid to hear, and she knew she would hear it. "Elliot put his papers in" and the worst part of it was that it was Captain Donald Cragen the one that tell her…. Sadness.

After more than twelve years of partnership, of friendship, she expected more than this. She thought that at least he would talk to her, return her calls, that he would be the one to tell her about his resignation. But he didn't…. disappointment.

Still, she had the hope of receiving his call whenever he felt ready; she was giving him the space he needed to breath, to think. She decided to keep her distance so he could find the missing piece he lost that night… and, maybe, bring him back, to her. But, again, he didn't…. anger.

A month went faster than she expected. Two new persons were presented in the squad, just what she needed… rookie detectives to take care of. Detective Amanda Rollins and Detective Nicolas Amaro. She was rough with them at first but just because she didn't know how to work with different people, with anyone else but him, and she didn't want to. But it was more difficult to work alone. Her first cases without him were strange, she was distracted; she lost some tracks, important ones. She didn't notice some details, details she was sure she would have noticed with him by her side. She felt incomplete, like she was now half the detective she used to be…. lost.

And something even worse came. An old case of hers reopened and a horrible truth came out. She locked an innocent man in jail for years, a man she was sure was guilty. This brings her a big doubt, distrust in herself, insecurities were released and he was not there to help her get through this. Then, she thought that even if he had been there, he couldn't have done anything to help her… destroyed.

She knew about feelings, at least the negative ones, and what effect they could have on her. She knew she had to get over them and continue with her life… she had to get over him. There was one thought that help her with that.

"If he doesn't mind… why should I?" It wasn't her nicest thought, but it was the best she had at use. At least, it's better to be angry than sad.

One day she was coming back to her apartment, tired and stressed, wishing to have one lonely night of relaxation to take a foam bath in her tub and not going out never again. But destiny had another plan for her. She took off her shoes and work clothes, and although there was no one there to see her, she decided to put on her bath robe whilst she prepared the tub. She wondered if warm water and lots of foam could help her feel better… hopefully it would. Maybe a cup of wine would help her achieve her goal of utter relaxation, but then she didn't want to star sinking her sorrows in alcohol, she knew better than anyone where that could take her. She wouldn't let herself go there, fall so low… never.

As she was climbing into the steaming tub a gentle knock stopped her. Not sure if she has really heard it, or if it was just her mind playing with her, she waited in silence until the knock repeated stronger.

Who could be knocking on her door so late at night? She wasn't expecting anyone, she hadn't ordered anything, and she absolutely didn't want to open that door to see Nick Amaro with a new case for her.

She didn't need that… not now.

She decided to keep in silence for a few minutes and see if whoever was at her door would leave. And it worked; the knocking stopped… luckily for her. She sighed and let her face play a small smile before getting into the tub.

"Good" The loneliness inside her spoke out. As her body started to relax her mind started working. Lots of thing invaded her at that moment: the job, the new detectives, the case, the victims… but she didn't let herself go to any deeper thought. She knew the feeling that that would cause, and she knew of WHO she would think about… him. So she went back to the earlier knock, what if someone really needed her, was she ignoring her job? Her colleagues? A victim? That was not like her.

"Perfect" she said mad at her thought. Now she couldn't relax, she looked around her bathroom trying to find her mobile phone; luckily it could be near enough to grab it. But then she hasn't had any luck in a very long time. And this time was not an exception.

"Dammit!" she closed her eyes and sighed before getting up and out of the tub. She put on her bath robe again and went back to her room. She found her mobile in the little table near the door. She took it and tried to turn it on, but it wouldn't function. She swallowed her curse and went for its charger and, meanwhile she waited for it to have some battery, she brushed her wet hair.

"Please no missed calls… please, please!" she pleaded waiting to the screen to turn on. And her bad luck was still there. "Great! Three missed calls!" she swiped her thumb across the screen hoping not to see one of her colleague's names on the screen. And it wasn't. She felt her stomach fall at the moment she realized whose name it was in the screen… his.

**Author's Note: THANKS SOOO MUCH TO MY BETA BOOKGURU! : ) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: _Law & Order: Special Victims Unit_ and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf**

**Author's Note: I think now it's better written… thanks to my beta! : )**

**About the story, I hope you are enjoying it. I know we all want Elliot back, or almost all of us, so this is my idea of how it could be. **

**Thanks for the ones that reviewed. : )**

CHAPTER 2

She had to sit down on her bed to try and catch her breath for a minute. Three questions invaded her mind; why he was calling her now? Would he try to call her again? Or even more importantly: would she pick up the phone?

At least that's what he deserved. He ignored her for a long time so she should do the same to him, right? And that's what she decided to do, to ignore the calls, the texts, and the mailboxes she thinks she'll receive from him… anything. Although she knew that was almost impossible for her to do.

She had tried once with no success because of one little "semper fidelis" medal. But now she thought she had to be stronger, she _needed_ to be stronger.

Then something stopped her thoughts. The earlier door knocks. Had it been him? Was he the one at her door a few minutes ago? Would he even dare to come here, to her apartment? She took her phone and looked at what time the missing calls came in.

"9:30pm… that is… fuck" She noticed they hadn't been before she had gotten home that same night. Then she jumped to conclusions… it was him, it _had_ to be him. She got up off the bed and started walking to her living room barefoot, trying not to make a sound. Her hair, still wet, let some droplets of water fall to the floor, getting it wet. But she didn't bother to dry it. She needed to know if her thoughts were right. She silently reached her door and closed one eye to see through the eyelet. Her heart stopped at the moment she saw him sat at the floor in front of her apartment's door, quietly, doing absolutely nothing.

She couldn't help but let out a sigh. She had been expecting for this to happen a long time ago, and now that it happened… she wasn't prepared. Not even a little.

It would be so easy just to go back to her tub and wait for him to leave. Maybe he didn't know yet that she was in her apartment, that fact was in her favor. He could think that she was still at work with a really hard case and that she would not be back for days. So hopefully for her he would go back to Queens and give her enough time to decide what to do next time he appears out of nowhere…. But what if it wasn't next time? "Shit" She cursed at her stupid thought. The "what ifs" had made her crazy all these months, just like now. She noticed she had talked too loud and was still beside her door. She closed her eyes strong, bit her lip and silently begged that he hadn't heard her. But the knock came back.

And there they were. Each one stood at different side of the door in silence.

After a few seconds she took one step back slowly, trying to get back to her earlier plan of ignoring him but the old wooden floor betrayed her by cracking at her step.

"Liv... are you there?" hearing her nickname made her twitch, made her feel weaker. She tried to move again making the floor crack… again. If he knew she was in there then she had two options: to open the fucking door just to close it again as hard as she could in his face or to go back to her tub and ignore him. She chose the latter and moved fast to her room but, she'd forgotten about the wet floor and one of her feet slipped making her fall down to the floor. Hard.

"Fuck!" she let a shout go out, madder of being caught than of the pain in her butt.

"Olivia? Are you ok?" the worried voice at the other side of the door shouted. She didn't answer, why would she? "Olivia?" she tried to get up with a little help of her couch and she noticed the worrying in his voice, how could she not notice. She had heard that voice for the last twelve years; she could tell if he was worried, angry, sad, happy it didn't matter how he was feeling or how hard he would try to hide it, she always knew for the sound on his voice. And today it wasn't an exception.

She started walking again, not sure where to go when suddenly a loud noise made her turn to the door. Was he trying to…? She moved fast and hurried to open the door just to find Elliot ready to push it again. "What the fuck are you doing?" she shouted to him hysterically.

"What?… I thought you were hurt and…"

"And you were going to break down my door!" she continued shouting, trying to suppress the feeling that was being inflicted on her his presence.

"Well you didn't answer!" his voice started to raise.

"Well, I'm fine, ok?" with that she turned back and tried to close the door immediately, but he put his left foot on the way and stopped her. Now that he knew she was home he would not let her closed the door that easy.

"What the…Elliot!" She watched him with doubt and frustration was all she could read in his face.

"Can I come in?" he asked in low voice.

"No!" she said without hesitation. "It's late. Go home"

"Olivia it's not that late! It's… ten o'clock see?" he showed her his wrist clock through the little space between the door and the wall.

"Fifteen minutes past ten… it's late!" another door opened in the hall and an old lady appeared and give an angry look to Elliot.

"Would you mind?" the old lady said to him.

"Sorry ma'am" He answered and pushed the door a little bit stronger opening it.

"Are you ok Ms. Benson?" Olivia sighted and let the door opened to let the old lady see her.

"Yes Mrs. Williams. I'm sorry. Ahm… he was…."

"We'll take this inside. Sorry ma'am" He took Olivia's arm and moved them both to the inside of her apartment. "Good night ma'am!" Elliot continued until he closed the door behind them. Olivia moved away from his touch and tried to hide the wave of feelings that was attacking her. "It's better to be angry than sad. It's better to be angry than sad." She repeated in her mind.

"I just want to talk with you" he finally said facing her. Olivia smiled ironically and gave him an angry look.

"You want what?... Oh I think it's too late for that" she tried not to shout but her voice held a high pitch.

"Did I interrupt your bath?" he asked out of nowhere, pointing at her. Just what she needed, to be reminded she was just in her bath robe. She was trying so hard to be mad at him but this wasn't helping.

"Yes, and I would like to finish it, so can you leave please?" She asked politely and started to walk back to her room and slipped again. But this time she caught her fall, holding to the couch with a quick move of her hand. "Damn water!" In a second Elliot was by her side holding her arm and helping her up. "Don't" She pushed him away and tried to give him a withering look but that only made her notice the smile plastered on his face.

"You son of a… are you laughing? Seriously?" Now she was furious. How dare he laugh at her?

"No! I just…" he just understood what had been her earlier shout about. He could imagine her trying not to made noise, the surprise fall and her face full of anger.

"You are unbelievable Elliot! What the hell in this world made you believe you can come in the middle of the night, interrupt my bath, almost break down my door, wake up my neighbors and irrupt in my apartment … oh and laugh at me! You think that's fair Elliot? Well I have some news for you, it is not!"

"I wasn't laughing …"

"Stop it!" The anger overcame her and didn't let her think coherently.

She just needed to let everything out. She felt tired of keeping silent when she had so many things to say, just for the good of their relationship. But now there was no relationship anymore, right? So why would she have to keep her silence anymore?

"I just want to talk or at least just listen to…" he started to feel frustrated as well.

"No! You listen!" He knew she was really pissed. He was surprised of her reaction, in the twelve years of been together, the moments she'd exploded were countable. She had always been prudent; it was one of her virtues, and more when it was about him. Normally he would be the one shouting and Olivia the one trying to calm him down. Normally. "You have no right to do this Elliot!" she started with no plan of stopping any soon.

"Shh Liv" he tried.

"Don't you dare shush me! You want to talk? What about when I wanted to talk eh? Why does it _always_ have to be whenever you want!" She looked at him furious, pushing against him without hesitation. He was grateful that her weapon was far away from her.

"Olivia…" He put his arms in a defensive position taking a step or two backwards. Trying to stop her.

"This fucking time it's not going to be like always! You are gonna get the fuck out of here and go back to your fucking house and let me take my fucking bath! Ok!" it was the first time he heard her use the f word that many times in a day. And he thought it was… hot.

He had to act quickly, because she was about to kick his ass out of her apartment. He could feel the door just behind him and saw her hand reaching the doorknob while she continued her shouting.

"Are you deaf? Get the hell out!"

"Stop it Olivia." He stopped moving forwards until he came face to face with her. She froze instantly trying not to get distracted with his sudden move, his scent, his lips… his body. _Shit! _She remembered that this was the exact reason why she sought not to be so near to him… always, no matter what she tried, her body would react exactly like now.

He knew this; he could see it… so he used it as an advantage and started walking forward making her to move back to the living room.

"What the fuck? Stop it, Elliot!" she tried to gain her power back again.

"Shut up!" he demanded with a serious expression, the one she knew so well. Did he just tell her to shut up? She moved her hand as quick as she could, ready to slap his face but he moved quicker and grabbed her wrist with his left hand and used his right to pull her head close enough to crash his lips with hers.

**Author's note: Review please… be kind? THANKS RUTH!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** _Law & Order: Special Victims Unit_ and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf

**Author's Note: well this chapter was really difficult to write. I wanted to make it good so I hope you like it ****Sarah501B****, ****Soulmates Forever**** thanks for de Review.**** NOW IT'S WELL WRITTEN!**

Chapter 3

He noticed her suddenly freeze and took the opportunity. He started walking pushing Olivia backwards to her living room and away from the door. It took her few seconds until she started to process what was happening. Her lips were burning and begging to let herself kiss him back but she fought hard against the feeling, pushing it down. She noticed her arms were already attempting to snake around his body and stopped them immediately, moving her hands against his strong chest. She felt her anger rise and pushed him away, releasing her lips and stared at him. Her tears were threatening to fall but she fought them back. Elliot could see she was pissed but there were something else buried in her chocolate eyes. He had always had the ability to read her eyes; she was like an open book for him… she always had been.

"Olivia I'm…" She didn't let him finished. She just crashed her lips back to his, kissing him roughly. He was attacked off ward but it didn't take him much time to start kissing her back. Her lips opened slightly in surprise and he took advantage. He slid his tongue into her mouth. He was nearly shocked at the feeling of finally kissing Olivia; but didn't let himself go deeper into that thought. He knew it was just too much.

Olivia felt slightly light headed as she tasted his flavor on her mouth. Their tongues started fighting for power, just like their bodies did. Her hands started to move south down his body until reaching the hem of his t-shirt pulling it up, showing a little desperation. He didn't want to separate their lips but didn't have much as an option. Put his hands up and stripped off the t-shirt as quick as possible to kiss her again..Olivia's hands didn't waste any time and moved over the naked skin of his back. She had seen him without a shirt many times before, and just once had the opportunity to touch his skin… but that was on an undercover mission and under really different circumstances, that time she was so afraid of their lives that she didn't even think about their touching skins. But now she had nothing more in her mind than his warm skin and firm muscles below her thin fingers.

Elliot held her hips firmly, trying to concentrate in what the hell was happening, but it was almost impossible. Feeling those tempting lips, which he had always wanted to taste, against his made him distract. He needed to stop this if he wanted to fulfill the purpose he had come to her apartment with. But he didn't feel strong enough to stop her.

They moved synchronized across her living room approaching to the bedroom. It almost was like if they were dancing at their own singular rhythm until they reach the nearest wall. Elliot pushed her against the cold wall; his hands grazed the sides of her sensitive breast, moved down the front of her body and caught the strips oftheribbonthat heldthe robeclosed. Olivia stopped kissing him the moment she felt him pull her robe open. But he didn't stop. His lips continue down the burning skin of her neck finding the exact spot where he could feel her hurried pulse. He bit down on the skin he found there, sucking slightly surprised to hear the moan that unconsciously escaped from her throat. He thought that it was the sexiest sound he had ever heard before and his body agreed.

Olivia's arms clung around his neck and pulled their bodies together, letting her bare breasts push against his hot torso, enjoying the feeling of his mouth marking her neck. They were lost in this passion that had been locked inside of them for more than a decade, in this anger that she had been holding inside of her heart for almost a year, in the feeling that they both had been denying for what seemed a lifetime.

He went back to her lips and kissed her wildly, she bit his lower lip roughly almost drawing blood trying to gain back some power. A forgotten voice in a corner of her mind shouted at her to stop this; she knew she had to stop it, but the voice became blurrier and blurrier with every slight touch skin-against-skin, with every rough kiss between their lips, with every frantic beat of her heart. And finally it completely disappeared when she felt his hands caressing her warm breasts and his warm mouth stealthily descendingdown her collarbone. She thought that this man's mouth could easily be her drug, and now that she'd tasted it and felt it on her skin, there was no power in earth that would make her want to stop him… ever.

Elliot moved his hands down across her taut butt until reaching her thighs, separating her legs lightly. She got the point immediately and pulled herself up holding onto his shoulders. His hold had gotten so tight she didn't even have to latch her legs around him, she just grinded her hips up to his, making both of them moan.

Somehow Elliot managed to found the way to her bedroom, during which she couldn't keep her hands still. They roamed around his head, at the base of his neck, playing with the tuff of hair she found there; holding the warm skin of his cheeks to keep his head in place so she could have better access to his mouth… there was no doubt, she was an addict now.

Finally he reached the bed and let them fall onto it. Liv let go of her tight hold and moved her hands between their bodies looking for his belt and was glad to find that he was not in his work clothes, why would he use them anymore? A lot of questions started growing in her mind but she immediately suppressed them and continued with her earlier task. Her two fingers slid into his pants and snapped the waistband of his boxers against his skin. "Off" She wasn't sure if she had actually said that or if she'd just thought it, but either way he got the idea and in one swift movement he took his pants and boxers off. Liv sat up and scooted her heels back toward her ass, allowing her thighs open and give him a place to settle. Elliot climbed back to her allowing the tip of his cock to position at her entrance. He swallowed hard noticing how hot and wet she was, perfectly ready for him. All thoughts he had on slowing or even stopping this completely left, he wasn't strong enough to even try and stop. He pushed inside of her with a quick, hard move that made her shout into his mouth. She was tighter than he expected her to be and he slowed then, shocked for the feeling of finally being inside of her… he waited for her to adjust his size and was taken by surprise when she arched her back and moved her pelvis up against him. Elliot tried to stop her movement by grabbing her waist and pushing her back down onto the mattress.

"Liv" his voice came out raspy and low "I shouldn't have left…" Was he really using this method to make her listen to him?

"Elliot, don't… not now… just" He was seriously trying to talk in that moment? Was he mad!? "Just let it go please… just… please" Maybe this was the first time Olivia had ever begged for anything… not that she really minded in that moment. He pulled the length of himself out before driving back in. "God!" She couldn't help but let the word out.

"Ok, but promise me you'll hear me after this" The bastard was using sex to make a deal and she knew it. But she wasn't exactly in the best position to claim, or argue back, she was too far gone for that. Liv really didn't want to think much because she knew that if the little rational voice of her mind reappeared, she would have to stop this, and later she would hate herself, because even if she didn't want to admit it, she really wanted this to continue.

"Son of a bitch" She managed muster out. Then he moved again inside of her persuasively whilst looking straight at her. "Mmm… ok El, I promise" A crooked smile appeared on his face before capturing her lips and started moving at a torturously slow pace.

She arched her back against him one more time encouraging him to move faster, and he did. Starting at the base of her neck his hands traced the muscles down her back and down until he reached the back of her left knee. She felt him raising her leg and placing it on his shoulder while he pushed harder into her.

"Argh, fuck!" The feeling was totally new for her. Olivia had always been the one that dominated in the bedroom, she had always decided the whens and wheres of everything and had never let anyone take control of her. But for some reason that night was different. She wanted the control, to take this how she wanted to but then her way was his way… always.

He had wanted to make love to his partner since the first time he saw her. He wanted to be able to memorize her expression at exact moment she climaxed. And he certainly knew how to make it happen. His lips continued torturing her neck with hot, wet kisses whilst he pushed harder into her and pulling out slowly, eliciting desperate moans and a drabble of words from her. Olivia clung tightly to his back trying to ignore the slight pain he caused, which was matchless to the immense pleasure building inside of her.

"Aaagh… harder!" She could feel herself getting closer and closer to the edge.

Her walls started clenching around his rock hard cock, announcing the proximity of her climax and that was the signal he needed to slide a hand between their bodies and let his thumb flick her clit.

He dipped his head to whisper into her ear "Come on Liv, come for me baby!" Her eyes widened and at their gazes joined as she came. A shout escape through her lips. He pulled back slightly to witness her orgasm. She threw her head backwards, her eyes closed, her mouth open and her beautiful neck exposed. He forced himself deeper in her tight body once more before coming hard, spilling his seed inside of her. "God!"

He gently lent her leg down on the mattress and tried not to crush her with his body by maintaining his weight in his arms. They waited in silence, each trying to catch their breaths, their hearts beating at the same quick pace until he decided to move again to pull out of her, making her complain with a silent moan, and placing himself at her side. They remained still in bed, watching the ceiling in silence noticing the wave of feelings rush over them.

"We need to talk"

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: HOPE YOU LIKED IT. PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINION. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** _Law & Order: Special Victims Unit_ and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf

**Author's Note: YEY! I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS GUYS! I'm literally smiling right now****J****. This is the last chapter for this story. Please let me know your opinions. And I'm open to constructive criticism. Maybe I'll write a new one soon. If you have a request or ideas for me let me listen to them. ****J**** I also have other stories written but not in English, maybe I can translate some or just upload them in their original language, what you think?**

**Special thanks to bookguru! thank you for beta! :)  
**

Chapter 4.

"We need to talk" He thought remembering the reason he was there.

Olivia remained motionless, noticing how the feeling of shock began hunting her like a shadow, moving slowly towards her body. The thought of what had just happened assaulted her making feel the shame in every nerve. She crossed her legs; turned around, in the bed covering her body with the bath robe, thankful that they hadn't taken it off in their rush, and remained still, keeping her back to him. He felt her move, but didn't have the ability to move just yet, his breath was still hurried whilst her heart was starting to slow its beatings. He had just made love to her. It hadn't been exactly the slow and tender love making he is so used to, but it had been just like everything between them…their way… he thought.

A few minutes passed, both of them keeping still in the silence. She twitched at the feeling of the mattress moving with his slow motions, she wondered if he was moving to stand up and leave or if he was approaching her. Her doubt was answered when she felt the warmth of his body against her back.

"Liv we have to talk" he murmured with a raspy voice which made her hair bristle.

"don't want to" she said in an almost inaudible whisper.

"What?"

"I don't want to talk, Elliot" She repeated, more loudly this time. He let out a sigh and massaged his forehead with his left hand trying to keep calm.

"Ok, then just listen" He wasn't going to remind her of her earlier promise, at least not if he wanted to live. So he waited for an answer but she didn't even respond, keeping her silence.

"You deserve to know why I left that way. Why I ignored you and… hurt you" So the bastard acted like that with a purpose?! knew exactly what would that made to her and still did it? She tried to keep quiet and motionless. "The day of the shooting, when Jena…" She could tell he was looking for the right words, and knew this wasn't easier for him than it was for her.

"Liv, it was Gitano all over again… I mean the feeling was exactly the same" He stopped wondering if she would say something but he just heard a raspy sigh. "When, when Jena shoot Sister Peg I, I thought it was you, Liv. I just saw someone falling down and in less than a second I had the gun pointing at Jena." He stopped and moved backwards to sit slightly on the bed, pushing back the tears in his eyes. "It was that feeling again Liv… I wanted revenge; and when I saw you were fine, I wanted to protect you… So I just shot" She shivered at the memory of that day. She felt the same way, for a moment she had thought that it was Elliot the on the floor. She could remember the selfish relief she'd felt the moment she realized it was Sister Peg's chest which she was pressing and not Elliot's.

"Then I had her body in my arms… She said it had been easy to bring the gun into the precinct and… Shit!... Once again I started to blame you!" He stopped then. He didn't want to bring those feelings out. After all, that had been the reason he'd left. "I didn't want to do that to you again Liv. I knew it was a mistake to put you first than the job." She turned around and sat down to face him.

"I would've done the same, El." She started shakily "I mean, put you first than the job… Just like I did when Gitano…"

"Don't make my mistake" he paraphrased the same words he said back then. "I know… and I remembered how all that ended" She froze the moment she understood his words. All that ended with her getting away with not a single word. She had done the same thing to him years ago and she couldn't help but feel so selfish and unfair throwing it back into his face. "With me pushing you away and you hating me. I couldn't handle that. I thought it would be better if I took some time off to arrange my mind. But I realized that even if I had come back to work, to you, that would happen again and again." She kept her eyes down trying to push back her tears. "Because you've became one really important person in my life. Olivia, I realized what I had been denying for years… I lo-"  
"Don't!" She stopped him immediately. "Don't say it. Jesus!... Fucking feelings! " She covered her face with both of her hands and hid her between her knees before running her hands through her hair, tugging at it softly in desperation. "One rule… Just don't mention any feelings ok?"

"Ok I won't say it if you don't want to… but I feel it… its true" She cursed something under her breath before giving him a withering look.

"I'm supposed to hate you right now, you know?" She said in an almost high pitch.

"I think 'hate' is classed as a feeling. Not fair if you can break the rules." He said moving towards her.

"Elliot could you please cover your body… please, please?" He started laughing out load noticing how she was blushing.

"I love you" he said into her ear, making her shiver.

"Cheater" She whispered back, before moving away from his touch.

"I'm terribly sorry for what I've put you through. And for coming back" She lift her head up towards him, the surprise evident in her eyes.

"What?"

"I think it was selfish of me to come back." He paused for a second before explaining "I saw you some weeks ago. You were fine"

"Where?"

"On TV, with your new partner… You looked like if you were doing well. Your calls had stopped so I thought you were getting over us. You had a new partner… and I heard that you were getting on in work really well."

"Then why you come back?"

"I don't really know. I think I was worried you were forgetting me."

"Asshole… How could you think that?" She let out a loud, frustrated sigh.

"I'm selfish. My life was falling apart, without a job things got complicated and Kathy finally left me, took Eli with her, my kids are growing up and having their own lives, and you looked fine. I was scared that maybe you really would be so pissed that you had decided to forget me and…"

"Didn't your parents teach you not to believe everything you see on TV?" Olivia moved back towards him. "I haven't been fine since you left. And yes I've been working harder, but just to keep my mind distracted. It's not easy having your empty desk in front of me, reminding me of you.. " her expression turned mad as she remembered the old desk. "Jerk!" She said frustrated.

"I know I deserve it but, stop calling me names please?" he said putting his forehead on hers.

"Idiot. Asshole. Jerk. Bastard" She joked until he grabbed her waist, pulling her towards him.

"Stop it"

"Why?" She asked with a provocative smile, knowing exactly why. He caught her lips and kissed her passionately holding her tightly against his body.

"Can you say it?" Liv bit her lip and let her hands roam up his chest, his neck and finally up go the warm skin of his cheeks.

"I love you" she let out the words in a slowly whisper before kissing him again. He leaned her back down on the mattress, and continued to kiss her without rush.

"Don't leave me ever again" She said letting the tears finally fall from her eyes and cascade down her cheeks.

"You are not getting rid of me anymore Benson" Hearing him address her by her second name made them smile.

"I wasn't planning to, Stabler"

He was back, that was a fact. She? She felt confident, happy, proud, complete… but upon all does feeling, she felt loved.

THE END

**Author's Note: well I liked this little story. Not so bad for been my first English fic right? :P**

**Hope you enjoyed it as well. Please let me know… please please? **


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